/:

i seem to be good at loosing people im very close to. but this time i dont understand why it feels so different. i feel like ive lost a part of me, and i figured by getting my bestfriend back that everything would just go back to normal and be great like it used to be, but i never realized all along the one person that was always there when i really needed them. and now they are no longer a part of my life, and every day that goes by i think about what did i do to deserve this, what did i do wrong? how could i fix things? because i really never wanted this to happen, and the day it did im ashamed to say i couldnt make it two feet without crying my eyes out infront of tons of people but at the moment i wasnt thinking about who was looking at me and who was going to say something, all that was running through my mind was i just lost someone really important to me and i dont even understand the reasoning behind it. and now everyday somehow someway something reminds me and i feel upset. i just want things to be better again, i just want you back in my life, but for some reason this time it feels like thats not going to be the outcome :(